Couples & Relationship Therapy

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Relationships can be significant sources of strength, but can also be great sources of stress. We all share a fundamental need for closeness and security, but very few of us developed effective models for how to create and sustain a relationship, let alone how to deal with the inevitable conflicts that arise. When couples don’t know how to calm each other’s painful emotions, they find themselves in a cycle of conflict. Conflicted patterns of interaction can trap us in negative cycles of hurt, anger, and distance, which can leave us with a profound sense of despair and emotional isolation. Sometimes when we can’t see a better way it is time for help.

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• Is there a growing distance between you and your partner?

• Is there an increase in arguing, anger and resentment? Do you argue over little things?

• Have you lost the intimacy you once experienced and live more like roommates or business partners?

• Are there trust issues in your relationship?

• Do you talk about how you're feeling and your partner tries to "fix it" and you are left feeling frustrated and misunderstood?

• Are difficult subjects avoided and issues left unresolved?

• Are blaming and defensiveness common reactions?

• Do you explain things over and over again to your partner but they don't get how you feel or where you are coming from?

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Often couples fall into cycles where one partner tries desperately to engage in conversation whereas the other withdraws in silence. They try to resolve their relationship issues to no avail, no matter how hard they try. Couples vow to change, and are dismayed when they discover they have returned to their predictable patterns. Finally, they often wonder if it will ever get better, if it is worth the pain, or if they should just separate or divorce.

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I work with couples that are wanting to:

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• Argue less and more effectively

• Stop having the same fight over and over again

• Feel less defensive in their relationship

• Repair old hurts and injuries

• Recover from infidelity

• Strengthen their commitment and partnership

• Improve communication

• Work through disappointments and hurts

• Rebuild trust

• Feel more connected, responsive, available, and in love

• Become more understanding and accepting of each other   

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Each couple and relationship is unique. Sometimes it is necessary to go deeply into past hurts while others want to deal with more immediate, present day concerns. We will work together to discover the best approach to improving your relationship and life. Couples counseling can save the relationship you’ve worked so hard to build.